If my husband was more like a two-year-old and less like an eleven-year-old...

I often tell people that I have two kids. Aidan and Josh.

Josh, my dear husband, I have decided is like an eleven-year-old boy. He likes to play video games and drink many different flavors of soda pop. He doesn't remember to throw the empty cans away. When he's tired, he gets cranky, but thinks he is to old to take a nap, so he just continues to be cranky. He thinks his shoes and socks belong in the middle of the living room floor.

Josh relies on me for clean clothes, clean dishes, food and beverage. However, when Josh is busy playing a game he doesn't hear a word that falls out of my mouth - I cease to exist. The highlight of his life is when a new game is being released (and I, also, can't wait for the release Conan the MMORPG simply because I am SO SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT). Josh has to be reminded to shower, and take the trash out, and clean up after himself. Being reminded to do these basic things annoys him, and he mutters things under his breath like, "what a nag" or "she's such a drag!" When Josh is sick his reliance on me increases 10 fold and his already low standards of cleanliness and hygiene dissipate to nothing. Thus, I actually have two kids.

Today I was thinking, I really wish Josh was more like Aidan, our two-year-old. If Josh were more like Aidan, then every time we had a fight it could be solved by a) giving him some peanut butter on a spoon or b) throwing a blanket over his head and saying, "Where are you, Josh? Where are you? There you are!!" which would result in a burst of giggles.

When Josh got cranky, I could place him in bed with his blankey and his stuffed Curious George (which he would call "Joge") and he would fall right asleep, waking up refreshed and happy. When Josh was sick, I could put a Disney movie in and give his some ice cream, and he would be quiet and cuddle with me happily for two hours - without requiring a thing.

And if Josh acted like he was two, then every time I did anything for him or brought him something he would get so excited he would jump up and down yelling, "tank-ou! tank-ou!" and give me a big hug, making me feel like the greatest person on earth. When I told him it was time to clean up, and sang the Clean Up song from Dora the Explorer, he would happily and enthusiastically help me pick up all his toys.

He would occupy himself for hours with spatulas, spoons, and pots and pans. A $0.97 car would make him happier than any $50 video game.

Also, he wouldn't be able to read and would have no idea that I just posted this blog about him. Oh, wait, he never read my blogs anyway... I'd say I'm pretty safe.